...and struck a chord of plenty....

...Bothered...

About so many things and yet i try to battle off these worries and bound my troubles with my creativity. What an escape. Therapuetic. Slightly irresponsible, however a thrill to discover what the imagination can create in such depressing times. So i continue to write "The Perfect Doll" inspired by the imagery found on Cgunit, a delightful website of some breathtaking artwork. Beautiful artists you do shed some light of happiness on my dark dwelling. You may get an idea of the world i am trying to create with these images as well as what i have written....still alot of work needs to be put in...

*

"He awoke, restless, bothered, beads of sweat beginning to form upon his brow. The room was musky and dark; he had not been alseep for long. His eyes adjusted to the dusty gloom around him and he suddenly realised he was no longer in West Laines. No longer did he feel the cold emptiness that fell with the air. The welcoming of thunderous marching that passed beneath his open balcony windows, the Grande kazoo sounding off the pseudo noon gaurds having patrolled the under girth of District 4, the setting of the 5th moon, the luminous warrior Azgar, as the 7th honorable philosopher Lectius, rises; no more West Laines. No orange, humid dust sweeping in, irritating his eyes; he somehow missed it all and that would have to change. There was no room for worthless emotion."

*

I want this novel to disturb as well as create a world like no other. A place to lose yourself and wonder. To feel all emotion and to find new. I have a long way to go to conquer this. Hmmmm...

...i delved into researching the imaginarium...

I spent a nice day...not it was shitting down with rain, thankfully i was nestled in the "warmth" of the Boots Library on Nottingham Trents' Campus researching some fashion material.

Took some finding but eventually i found three curious magazine beauties...took some notes on trending for the next few years and found some particularly amazing designers i'd never heard of from Istanbul, Italy & Japan...wonderful! Got really inspired by some crazy ass illustrations and documented my work with la mobile snaps...Bring on the Detective Project!!!

...following the path of the missing puzzle....

The Labyrinth...
...The Maze...
...The Puzzle.

It has been brought to my attention that i adore losing my own thoughts
within my work.
Whether that be drawing, writing music or stories, i seem to possess the feeling i am

t
u
m
b
l
i
n
g

through too many ideas at once, or balancing on a thread of explosive

creativity at the time that i end up plummeting into darkness.
It is this darkness that i adore.

It is not lonely.
It is not about being trapped.
It is not about being afraid.

It is about relishing that ultimate silence.
Basking in a subdued format to collect yourself and most importantly THINK!

Mr.Reynolds has been so kind as to set me a project based on
"Futuristic Detectives"
Already i have a plan set up and about a gizillion ideas running about.
It has been so extreme that i have written 5 new songs (absoloutely non-related to the project - i just has to use up some creativity steam)
drafted rough sketches of mens and womenswear and started collecting research...
...bearing in mind, the deadline is the 1st of August.

I need to learn to balance the excitement so that it propels and sustains my work.
In the past i have overwhelmed myself with work due to sheer excitement. Although this is a challenge...it is also rather stupid! I am hoping this task, as well as the ones i have set myself beforehand for "Kimmy's Rose Garden" will help me prepare
for when i return to Trent.

"Flirting with lumberjacks" - Tin (http://www.taintedtin.com/home.html)

...looking deep into that abyss hole of art...

Manuel Albarran
...Specialising in Metal Couture & Accessories...

After finishing his studies in Fashion, Manuel took up his interests in metal to the next level,
building up a self-taught career researching and working in different art fields
to find out what suited him best.

His work has become a massive collaboration with all areas of the media
around the world.

His love for metal has stretched beyond Fashion, focusing on art and cinema as well.

I first noticed his work in a Lady Gaga music video, yes admittedly quite a commerical find but you have to agree she does involve alot of high couture fashion in her
music to exaggerate her alter-ego self, much like Beyonce's "Sasha Fierce".

Overall i adore his work, so industrial and fantasy like, themes i generally adore, however
i don't believe his website casts a big enough glow on the displaying of his
work.

.

...i hope to fall into his desire...

T.S Eliot somehow wants me to excel in my secret realm....

....yes ok so he is in le high heavens, but he is most definitely smiling down at me. I know this by his poem, or rather i'd like to believe this, taken from the first part of his prose; BUIRNT NORTON (No. 1 of 'Four Quartets')

http://www.tristan.icom43.net/quartets/norton.html

It doesn't seem to make sense as i was born after this was written, also never knowing about one another, aka yes i was born after he died, HOWEVER, he has been quoted in the introduction of my favorite book, "Alice in Wonderland".

"Time present and time past Are both perhaps present in time future, And time future contained in time past. If all time is eternally present All time is unredeemable. What might have been is an abstraction Remaining a perpetual possibility Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been Point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory Down the passage which we did not take Towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden. My words echo Thus, in your mind."

That is me....It is me.

An oddball trapped, confused at loss in a world focused on time, as to whether i am here or i was here, what i want or what i have, how to convey when there might not be anything to convey.....it's all very confusing....but a statement...of my work or to the revealing of my creations....oh dear i seem to have lost myself...

...either way, T.S.Eliot, complete poetry Titan!

...the simplicity of beauty is terrifying...

Nico Didonna

I can only begin to describe how talented this designer is. By imagery alone, with the simplistic photography highlighting the garments on a beautiful model (who definitely holds class in her pose) you can see the detail of pattern cutting required to make such individual creations.
A statement in chosen colours of whites, creams, blues and blacks, the spring/summer 10 collection is a calling to love your body, flaunt your stuff with simple dressing rather than the crowded prints that have been hammering the high streets the past few years.

Menswear is also similar to this, although special care has been tended to the patterns of the shirts and jackets, bold pocketing and lifted seamlines. Even the tees have been left mostly plain, only with a random cutting of hem-line, or raw lining to give that bold edge look to the formality.
There is almost a past, vintage feel to the menswear rather to the greek toga release cast in some of the dresses in womenswear, eventhough i am not one for assymetrical dressing, the gathering of fabric and metallic embellishment cascading on to one arm pleases me far too much to dislike.

Overall...amazing, inspiring, fresh.

http://www.nico-d.com/

...as i enter a new realm...

I HAVE DECIDED...

...to finally, after much tenacious thought, concentrate on my dream, to conquer my wishes, fulfil the imagination that has haunted me for all those years.

So i begin planting the seeds.

I am not sure if it's the weather, the fact that i am in love, or chums and chumettes propelling me forward into the want of being creative again, however i seem to be buzzing with some sort of positive thinking...for the first time...in a long while..."I am going to fucking do this!"

"Little Seeds"
- Accessories blossomed from the garden itself, adorning those dainty, stemlike necks and wrists to carry grace in fashion.

"HedgeWear"
- Accessories for a top your crown, to wear proudly through the streets of the human realm, anyone can be a King or Queen...

It is a start...a slight challenge, but it will progress and grow, no doubt conisderably, in the months to follow. I want to create my garden, my garden to conjure ridiculous creations, and my creations to be worn by little creatures frolicking in my realm...Bloody Hell...this is clearly why i love playing Sims.

...and the quest continues...

Lamilla...

...you quirky, beautiful designer, you! Bringing a twist of Italian Europa into Paris Renaissance, Lamilla is one awesome newcomer to drool and awe over. I just adore the contrast between two powerful fashion concepts that have ruled Europe for hundreds of years, although not as extravangant as past styles, Casanova eat your heart out whilst i wear this busty corset number, it still holds its head high when stating, "we set the trend." I love finding these little treats ^_^

...falling down the rabbit hole...

"You are terribly late Alice, naughty!"

Oh YES Johnny Depp, whisper those filthy words to my ever pricked up ears! Although your voice isn't as silky as dear Alan Rickman, i could listen to you for hours non the less.
I stared in awe as the Mad Hatter crossed the screen, a current of emotion printed on his face as his accent flicked around an angry scotsman and a crazed old man with a lisp.

So it wasn't the Saturday but the next week on cheerful Orange wednesday that Mr.Reynolds and i decided to visit the cinema. The film overall i loved, as i knew i would and yet i have heard that it got quite mixed reviews. Ok so, it could've been darker, however i thought it was a tad different to Tim Burtons usual flair he shows in his productions.

There was alot...ALOT of CGI, something i am normally quite against and yet have to put up with in these modern times. It would have been interesting to see what wardrobe on its own would cast on the characters look through the film instead of the photoshoots, however this is no Pans Labrynth.I must admit i was disappointed in the 3D effect. To be honest, i don't find it a great deal different, in fact it was rather annoying, especially as i have shit eyesight as it is! It blurred the falling of alice through the rabbit hole. Then again though to suit the needs of those who positively rape the latest media concept of HD & 3D we had to sadly follow suit, 80 pence for some crappy geek frames that fuck up my eyes!

Rant over....
....Helena Bonham Careter was hilarious. A delight as always when ever she pops up on my screen! It was strange seeing Anne Hathaway act so bizzare! Normally being in cheerful, light hearted crappy chick flicks and what not she suprised me with her odd nature she brought out in the White Queen. Not sure about the dark makeup clashing with the intense White theme running through her land though....hmmmm....

I absoloutely loved the tea party scene. Best part of the film. So much so that i keep reinacting the scottish hare throwing cups of tea! There are great quotes throughout the film, and most of them come from this scene or Helena aka Queen of Hearts.

Yes i would see it again and yes i would still love to create my own version of the film, as much as i love Sir Burton, it just didnt satisfy me enough. I am still not totally sure though if this is just me obsessing as i adore this story so much. He had the right idea, but i believe it shouldve been more serious, darker, twisted, opium influenced to the max. He had the right actors and actresses, great scenery, in fact i wouldnt change Johnny Depps role at all....or Helenas for that matter, but Alan, Stephen Fry and Alice were'nt used to their potential.

...i always come back to...

Broadway cinema.

Soooooo bloody excited to go and see Alice in Wonderland on Saturday (yes which will have it's own say as soon as i see it ^_^ probably will be an essay though so forgive me) but OH NO, Cineworld yet again decides to be a moose and sold out all the tickets...ok so not totally the cinemas fault, more the population of Nottingham going to see MY FILM, yes MY FILM!!!!
I have waited a year to see this...i can not wait any longer grrrrr.

Had a look into Broadway with Mr.Reynolds to see if they were showing any viewings, alas it was not so.

Wednesday it is then.

However, whilst mooching about Broadway land, i realised how awesome this particular cinema is. I really should go to it more often. Really quirky, interesting films, rare oldies and foreign bombardments as well as the odd illustrative artist showing off their work in the main room as you grab some tasty munch.

I remember last time i was there being completely awe struck by an illustrative motion picture called "Blu - Muto". I researched it and found the video, yay, but the rest of the other work on the site is just amazing, really detailed time consuming art. I admire it so much though, all that dedication and inspiration into creating a piece. To think, creativity in a big load can be mentally draining, all that subconcious and concious flow of ideas and thoughts, negativity sometimes worms its way through, and yet the finished piece, you tend to question....how on earth did they manage to do that? It truly is inspiring!

http://www.blublu.org/sito/video/muto.htm

Honestly if you have the time to take a look around the site, you will find some amazing, trippy stuff on there, or watch the video of "Muto".

...you don't know me...

I had a lovely day, a truly lovely day.

It is such a magnificent and powerful emotion we feel when a friend, a close companion, someone who utterly gets you becomes sad, at a loss and we go through their own transition of despair. Yet you were happy before. So happy. Now i'm just down, i'm not necessarily upset, just mehhhhhhhhh....

I get irritated at myself trying to find the words to explain and yet i'm having difficulty in doing so.I'm listening to "Blue Foundation", they're so soothing, a nice sleepy treat rather than wallowing in shit.

I really feel like watching "Where the Wild things are", such an amazing film. Dark, deep and beautiful, it's a stirring for love and deep brooding, it's strange. Really well done, alot more serious than the children's book it is based on


.

...i can still hear you sayin'...

I have been inspired to write lyrics again...all because of *Fleetwood Mac*

How odd you must be thinking? Correct. Whilst watching Heroes with my sad monday evening in chilling routine, Sylar implodes all over the screen yet again in his wonderful anger and i hear a song playing in the background..."The Chain"
What a song. Before i knew it, volume level had shot up to 45, porn on another tab, facebook on another and i'm dancing in my room with words striking my thoughts. I have no idea why i was so sexually charged at that moment in time, but the song is now in my filthy playlist! (Facebook does not sexually charge me...i was tending my sad little cafe world)


And so i wrote...

"Spiderwebs, closet of my heart.
Traits of the love you left behind.
Creeping up the lines of sorrow,
Goodbye, Goodnight.

Letters written from the past,
they don't seem to burn but,
I'll still hold on to that last
word that i got told was best, to forget...
You. You. You. You.

Lips i still want to kiss.
Eyes that i'll always miss.
Stupid past lover.

Shattered glass, i don't like ros'e.
Memoirs of the night before.
Box of chocolates,
cliche to the test.
Goodbye, goodnight.

Ice cream moral support
try to do their best but,
all i do is just ignore
the advice of sisters i've made through the years, to forget...
You. You. You. You."

...whilst i read...

"What's mine is mine, and not anyone else's, even to look upon, unless I decide it is so. Remove your eyes from my flesh at once, or have them removed."

There is something so magnificent about these words. Possibly the most intense quote i have read, laughed and loved since reading the "Tales of the Otori" or "Venisse Underground". It's just so filthy and dominant, power of the women, and all that jazz!
I am currently reading "Blood of the Fold" - the third book of "Sword of Truth" series, written by Terry Goodkind. A dear friend, C.Katerere, told me they were the most descriptive and indepth books she had ever read, so i followed suit, and i must say they are impressive. As a lover of books anyway (dreaming of the most ridiculous library i can create in my future home and having researched beautiful libraries thus far aka "Beauty & The Beast" & Hans Zimmers studio COUGH) i am slightly annoyed at myself for not having read these books in the past. It is on no comparitive wavelength to J.R.R Tolkein or C.S.Lewis, even Phillip Pullman, it is in it's own category of awesomeness!

Below, behold....Hans Zimmers studio...

...I shed a tear for him...

I'm sitting here in some sort of forbidden daze....this is what i don't like about being ill...it's dangerous, there is far too much time to think. Although it helps with creating ambitious ideas, the constant brooding and dwelling on deeper subconciousness starts to raise its head...

...part of me is still sad for the loss of Alexander McQueen. A talented British Fashion Designer, a Legend of Garments. I was hoping on some rare occasion in the future perhaps meeting him as i am travelling down the path of fashion designing myself. It's so sad and yet shows such a determined loyalty and strength of love to take your own life for another...i mean this is my assumption. Having lost his best friend 3 years ago and then having lost his mother this year...three days later he departs the living. I doubt it had anything to do with the stress of Fashion week approaching, his collection for 2012 was complete in ideas; perhaps it added to emotional ordeal he was going through...who knows, in the end R.I.P Alexander McQueen, you will always have lovers everywhere and will be sorely missed. . .

...I awoke...

...Inspired this morning, up at a relatively decent time for once. Unsure as to where to start, it seems wonderful yet annoying that i can't decided whether to draw, write lyrics or more of "The Perfect Doll" (yes inspired by Muse Doll creations), or to make this skirt my dear friend David gave me the pattern for.
Here i sit, listening to "Angel" Massive Attack and slightly daydreaming of Gaara & Sasuke, two incredibly dark characters from an anime i am currently obsessed with.

Hmmmmm, what to do?

I can't believe i am resorting to say this but i am actually going to blame the weather for being a complete mental block! EVERYTIME i look outside to that grey desolate shitbag sky, i just seem to grumble under my breath, i just want to see some heavenly blue sky dammit! Which is a sort of clash to my work.....my artwork is NEVER cheerful!
I guess this song is my current mood of confusion and deep thoughts...
...

...In The Beginning...

I am The Secret Novelist and welcome to my garden... i have decided to step into the expressive realm of blogging...joining my fellow brethrens who also have their own hotspots of creativity.
My garden, i have decided, will grow an assortment of my current work, le album and a novel i am writing, as well as comments on random inspiration or juicy artists i adore.

It begins with Atelier Muse. I am generally terrified of dolls...bloody porcelain devils...and yet i am so entranced by the Muse branded dolls, i find myself actually saving up for one. Friggin' extortianate pricing, but who isn't self-indulgent these days...we are all guilty! Either way, they are filthy, eerie beauties, they're about half the size of me, will probably cause some sort of disturbing prescence in my room...hmmm...
-anyway, i found these cutie critters on musedoll.com, whilst on a hunt for some gwen stefani barbies...that will be saved for another post...the website is literally for those old biddy types (perhaps slightly younger with a modern flair but who fall into these absurd hobbies because of their children having being thirty and having their own families, invest in a cat, and starts smelling of "Opium" aka YSL Granny basher - rant over!).You get my drift! I mean...look at this! They're just so weird, and stylish, very japanese street fashion!