Monday 4 June 2012

...with an amusing scent...

'With A Breath of Fresh Air'


A group of Illustrations based on natural elements or memorable scenarios that arouse the nostrils. The titles I have chosen are named after what I collect from the images emotionally as well as my favorite scents, however when looking you can give your own title entirely based on your perception.




When crushing spices





When bathing with wine





When coffee is ready





When sprinkling cinnamon





When washing linen





When frolicking in the country





When reaching a new land





When the Heavens open





When Mama's cooking





When poison occurs





When wandering Markets





When I kiss you







... I was pulled apart by horses...

HANGING...

...But not defeated. I have done well considering last nights escapades.

A fantastic band, ones genre I can only describe as awesome excited Heavy New Rock with a bit of pop humour, even then this does not give them enough justice; Pulled Apart by Horses.

They have left me bruised, hungover, overwhelmed and so so happy. I let myself go so completely whilst moshing that during the last song, I apparently passed out. Heat exhaustion. I can only hope it's just that as I need all the strength I can muster in this last month towards the completion of my A/W collection and Fashion Show!

6th of July. 6th of July.
It's not dawned on me yet how near and yet how far away that date is.

I still need to sell tickets. I still need to finish garments. Yet the panic is not sinking in.

I thought I may have secreted anxiety, subconscious worries, perhaps this is why I gave my all in vicious dancing last night as a way of relief... alas no I just wanted to dance aggressively which involved losing my Ram Ring & accidentally punching some poor dude in the face.

All in all, I am very happy. Moving into my new house this coming Friday with my lovely Mr Davis. Somehow on schedule with my fashion work eventhough there is still a thousand things left to do. Brilliant friends.

I don't really have anything to moan about...scary?

Saturday 11 February 2012

...a new year...a new fear...

When one tries to turn a new leaf, another is confused about the path that lays ahead,

that other is me.

There has been many a time I've wanted to runaway. Adolescence is a good era for that, dramatic disappearances, chaotic exits.

When your heart is broken, and you finally muster the strength to get out of bed one surprising morning, first thought is to get the hell of there and keep good distance of any possible bumping ins.

Arguments.

Fights.

Tickling.

Gaseous excretion in a public venue with good sniffing witnesses.

And yet, I'm older now, surely wiser, in love, arguments happen because we are human, can't be bothered to fight when I am this exhausted, am the master of tickling, and don't care if I am caught of excellent gas release...

...so why does it hurt so much that I can not run away. Is it because I can't as I am too busy? Is it because I have turned into a working robot? Is it because I miss my ma who's been away for 7 months? Possibly possibly.

Whatever it is, as much as I do love my job and am really happy with my own fashion line's progress, I can not fight the urge of just upping and leaving.


Wednesday 21 December 2011

...Claude Vindel...


If there were but a small portrait that you could really fall into and write a story about, or become lost in an enthrallment of aged pencil and paint... then what you really want to behold is this fine mans' work - Claude Vindel.




















Friday 25 November 2011

...did i weep at the thought, i lost you...

So i smile in your remembrance,

and what a time we have had. Well what a time you have had.

It is, for lack of a better word, odd when we lose someone close to us, that immediate passing and knowing you won't see them again. I can't quite fathom how sudden it is. It is also difficult to not sound so bloody negative when describing how one feels too; I am struggling.

It is a first for me today to be told I have lost someone I regard as one of the most influential people in my life. A huge love in my life, she might as well have been my biological Grandma, that is the bond we made. I won't ever forget Graces' smell, dusty roses with a hint of cotton musk is the closest I can come to as a description. It was a comfortable loving smell, and she gave the greatest hugs.

I have learnt as much from Grace as I have from my own mother, and their power over me whilst growing up was equal. The only difference I suppose was from my mother I learnt the love for cooking, being stubborn and the difficulties of our mother/daughter relationship as a teen yet from Grace i learnt the love for fashion, history and being a woman. They both taught me independence.

It was Grace who taught me how to sew as well as my first stitch on a sewing machine, which years later she then gave to me as a present when i expressed how much i wanted to be a Fashion Designer. She taught me flower pressing and the attention to detail one must give in clientelling as well as pattern cutting. Yet through all this, what i loved and will miss the most are her stories. Stories of her life.

The great lifeline tales of Grace were usually told in sections depending on what mood she was in or current news running in her family that reminded her of her past. My biggest regret is not having a notepad with me to jot everything in minute detail as she spoke. You become encumbered in a soft glaze whilst Grace talks. She has, had, this fantastic way of engaging and involving you within the story. I reckon as much as her voice it was her eyes that did this. One day it might be about her love life with Fred, her husband who had passed away over a decade ago. It was a passionate relationship more on his behalf and it was here Grace taught me "If you love him, really love him don't dare let him go". Thus it begun from such a young age my romantic quest to conquer true love. Obviously most adolescents go through that stricken heartbreaking stage of loving nearly every male in sight...I have to say mine was quite different...nevertheless that is for another time...

One day it could be about her nursing soldiers during World War II that were sent back home to be treated or her mothering ways working as Matron Guard in a womens' only prison to which she started teaching prisoners how to sew. This might've led to a story about her favorite dress her mother refused to buy her, but instead made as a surprise or how she finally became a seamstress. The flow of tales were constantly mesmerizing and I used to lose hours of the day, running back and forth occasionally to the kitchen with fresh cups of tea and biccies.

It isn't just me who has lost a fantastic woman. I feel for her family greatly and to the others in the neighbourhood she was close to as well as I. She looked after us all and in return for her listening to us and giving advice, we listened and gave back. My mother did Graces garden up and we would both cook meals to take over. Sandy, number 21, would check in as well as Carol number 46 with some cake.

For years Grace was this loving guide, from when I fell down a supposed fixed manhole when I was 10 years old, she was livid at the council - to when I had an argument in my teens with my stepdad and I cried on her shoulder - to only a few months ago I wrote her a birthday card and a letter telling her I had found the one as well as my art - she was ecstatic for me.

There is only so much you can do when you lose a loved one. I have a piece of artwork I painted to give to the family that reminded me of her. I think I've stopped with the tears for now, instead i'll try my best to remember the time we've spent together and how grateful I am to have met such a great woman; who lived at number 44.

I won't cry knowing I miss her, i'll smile knowing I always will.




Tuesday 22 November 2011

...and snuggled into a studio space....


Backlit!

We have arrived!

Finally moved my things to my new studio space at Backlit which isn't too far from Nottinghams City centre, home or work, woohoo!
Just finitoed tidying and arranging and am about to get my painting skills on in the form of decorating.

There's some relief knowing you have a secret cubbyhole to work in surrounded by other fellow artists creating away in their cubby holes, everyone focused on their little bits and bobs coming together, it's so exciting. I love seeing different talents in art and what themes and crafts people are into. Mellow ideas to chaotic creativeness! I can not wait!

Few sketches to finish off from past ideas and a tattoo design to finish for Sir DeSilva, then onwards and upwards to land back down again in Narita Airport for a lil Sushi perhaps???.......Ohhh la la......

Wednesday 9 November 2011

...I may have fallen into place...






AND SO OCTOBER


Was blasted away with a click of many fingers, each pinky being stress, busying myself with managing Nottingham's Collard Manson as well as running around after my exhibition with the "Cheeky Stitches Punch" crew, and unfortunate mishapenings that occur with friends and loved ones.

My new thought for this winter is HIBERNATION!

I'm so sick of arguing, negative vibes and tension.

This winter i want copious amount of hot choccie an
d Quantro, snuggles on an epic rug and the sheer guilt of once again annihilating an entire cheeseboard on boxing day morning!

Apart from that I am quite happy October has zoomed by; brings us closer to a new year of fresh art and garments to be manufactured, closer to Christmas and closer to a well deserved week and a half of abusing ones body with yummy food and wine pleasure at the lover's parents abode.

Will be uploading photos soon though of the successful "Cheeky Stitches" exhibition. I wish it was maybe promoted more vigorously or quite a time before as it seemed it wasn't well known, however I did manage to sell a few things - which is exciting. My business cards, which are the front and back of the images shown, vanished quickly too so hopefully emails of ideas and orders will start to pour through in the lead up to Christmas!